Hang in there

I was talking to a friend today and he was upset about living in the United States. The conversation turned to stereotypes. He is tired of interacting with the same, typical techno worker Desi. Limited interests, geeky, limited to the same set of friends weere some of his complaints against this Desi stereotype. He says he wants to move back to India; where he is a First Class Citizen, where he has variety, in people, in food, in things to do. I was playing Devil's advocate to his argument,convincing him that the grass is always greener on the other side. Nobody is holding us down or tying us to anything. In fact, we are all here of our own volition, and in fact, most of us worked hard to get here. Nobody has stopped us from doing anything different, stepping out of line. Sure, our presence in the country is tied to our jobs, but that doesnt feature in most of our day-to-day activities. Basically we've gotten used to the whole situation. On the contrary, I feel scared about what to expect if and when I do return to my homeland. I have a snapshot of the things I love about India... and every trip back home makes me feel displaced in time. Malls on every corner, school kids with cellphones, multiplexes, bistros, 100 rupee coffees... all these are not part of my 'Indian dream'. Plus, I deal with constant worry and guilt towards my filial responsibilities. How do I 'be there' for my parents without being there? It would be too cruel to displace them from their roots to allay my worries. Plus, I dont know what my long term plan is. Am I doing something morally incorrect by paying taxes in a different country than the one in which I did my schooling? The world is becoming a global villge, should I still be thinking in terms of 'us' and 'them'? I want to meet all those Uncles and Aunties who looked over me when I was a child... not learn about their passing one by one, from my parents on the phone. Yes, I miss the food. I miss the diversity. I know I will find a million things to complain about once I am there. At the moment, I am only hanging in here. Not sad... yearning, but not complaining. Maybe in a little while I will tip over to the side my friend was representing. And probably neither of us will do anything about the churn inside, because we read the immigration news so avidly after all!!

Win some... lose some :(

What a fiasco! Still feeling bad about it, but also have a new goal now. Need to work on the swimming bit! So the story is that I had to pull out of the kirkland triathlon because I couldnt finish the swimming leg! Lake Washington seemed threatening in choppy, billowing waters; the mental part of not having any support got to me; and the advice of a lifeguard - to pull out - hit hard. I basically need to learn to swim properly.
Had been scared of the waters all the way, but today's experience teaches me to check my basics first. So, next year. Gotta wash the memories of this failure off. Well, Congrats to Kintan, Abhijat and Mitika who did finish it!! That's one good thing :)